Ron DeSantis, Governor of Florida, and U.S. Rep Lauren Boebert Announce New Joint Venture
August 2, 2021, Tallahassee Florida: FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Spread The Delta Variant On The High Seas In Style: Governor Ron DeSantis
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and U.S. Rep Lauren Boebert announced at a press conference today their new joint venture: DeathSantis Cruise Lines. DeathSantis Cruise Lines is unique in that masks are prohibited, as well as vaccinated customers. “We saw in the news that Basilico’s Pasta e Vino eatery in Huntington Beach, California prohibited people that were vaccinated. With that in mind, we knew we had to follow suit,” DeSantis said.
Ron DeSantis and Boebert The Republican Dynamic Duo
Reporters asked what brought them together. Governor Ron DeSantis was quick to answer: “Boebert brings the best of the MAGA agenda: Guns and Ignorance. I’ve always appreciated that she likes to don a side-arm but ditches the mask. On DeathSantis Cruise lines, we think it’s a patron’s choice to wear guns as well as spread COVID-19,” DeSantis noted.
The USS DeathSantis: Q Of The High Seas
The dynamic duo revealed their flagship, The USS DeathSantis. Built to spread QAnon, COVID-19, and bring sedition to various ports in the U.S., Governor Ron DeSantis noted that this will be the perfect vessel to spread QAnon. “Look we think of this ship as a giant Super Spreader of all things MAGA. It will bring together the best and the brightest which isn’t saying much, so I will feel right at home!” commented Boebert.” “We fully expect Robert Kennedy Jr. to show up to Captain’s Dinner Night,” she added.
Boebert As Cruise Director On Maiden Voyage
Boebert said, “I always liked watching re-runs of the 1970’s show The Love Boat. I could relate to the cruise director Julie McCoy on the show. She didn’t have a clue, and since I don’t have a clue what I’m up to in Congress, I knew I’d be the perfect Cruise Director for DeathSantis Cruise Lines. Ron DeSantis concurred, “She certainly isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.”