Rep Matt Gaetz and Rudy Giuliani Announce New Business Venture: #GaetzCream
Sunday July 18, 2021: FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Indoctrinate Your Kids With MAGA and QAnon With An Ice Cream Cone
US Representative Matt Gaetz and MAGA Attorney to the stars Rudy Giuliani announce their joint business venture #GaetzCream. Taking the neighborhood ice cream truck to the next level, #GaetzCream sports its own special brand of ice cream called “17 Flavors.” Sure to be a hit with the MAGA folks, this new ice cream delivery service promises lots of smiles on a hot summer day.
The MAGA Agenda, Matt Gaetz, Rudy Giuliani and Ice Cream
Coming back from his success at his Riverside #MAGAMania rally, Representative Matt Gaetz stated: “#GaetzCream is the epitome of the MAGA agenda. We are teaching kids and high schoolers that you can enjoy ice cream on a hot summer day and spread the Delta variant of COVID-19 as well.” Gaetz also added: “We expect this to do particularly well in areas that are buying into “The Big Lie.” We have actually done a test run in front of The White House, but that didn’t seem to go over so well. We intend to focus our efforts on the areas of the country that enjoy sedition.”
17 Flavors will be unique to the ice cream venture. Formulated with ice cream loving seditionists in mind, #GaetzCream will be sure to bring a smile to the face of The Big Lie and QAnon believers alike. 17 flavors is just what a hot summer day, due to Global Warming, calls for.
- Covid Colada
- Sedition Strawberry
- Teen Spirit
- Gang Greene Delight
- Trump Orange
- Not So Vanilla
- Sex Trafficking Sinnamon
- Vaccine Vanilla
- Fauci Ouchi
- Rudy Rose
- Pence Punch
- Adderall Apple
- DeathSantis Dark Fudge
- MAGA Madness Strawberry
- Apprentice Apricot
- Jim Jones Kool Aid
- QAnon Crunch
Four Seasons Total Landscaping Plays Host to US Reps Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz At Rally
Saturday July 17th 2021 – Holmesburg, Philadelphia From Stand For Better
It turns out you can’t keep two MAGA maniacs down as United States Representatives Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz hold their “America First” rally.
Following California’s refusal to host the dynamic duo’s “America First” rally, United States Representatives Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz were spirited away to their new rally site, Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Holmesburg, Philadelphia where they held their event in front of adoring MAGA crowds. Not surprising, the location, famous for Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s Trump campaign press event, was wildly sucessful for the two and their fanatic followers.
Trump to the Rescue America First Rally
Frustrated by California’s aversion to QAnon and racism, Greene and Gaetz reached out to former President Trump for his assistance. Trump sprung into action and dispatched his 1970’s vintage Trump Airlines Boeing 727 to pick up the pair to transport them to the new rally location. “We are appreciative of the President sending one of his planes to pick me and my pal Greene up,” said Gaetz. “We totally traveled in style, however, the plane did smell of BRUT Cologne and cigarettes.”
The event went without a hitch. The crowd was not disappointed as Greene and Gaetz performed their new routine with such hits as “Jewish Space Lasers and You,” “QAnon: Why the Kool-Aid is Oh-So-Good,” “How to Get JFK Jr. At YOUR Rally,” and finally “17 Reasons For Lowering The Age of Consent.” The crowd totally seemed to dig it. “Wow I had no idea JFK Jr could show up at my QAnon Pot Luck,” Betty from Allentown PA commented.
BRUT Cologne and the MAGA Agenda
The crowd seemed to love the Gaetz-Greene duo, especially the scent. “Man the duo was great,” Don from Miami commented after re-arranging his flight to see the pair. “I was so close to the podium, I could really smell BRUT Cologne. It was overpowering. I know Representative Gaetz is a real lady’s man, so maybe he was the one wearing it. If BRUT Cologne is part of the MAGA agenda, I’m in!”